Healing - Remembering my Wholeness

On this blog I talk about probably my biggest epiphany about what Healing really is, there is a lot to say about embarking on a Healing Journey and a lot of AHA moments, but I wanted to start with the one that holds the most importance for me.  This is my story but, if it offers some light to your path in any way, that will make mine a reason to continue sharing.

I embarked on my Healing journey as I felt that it was the only way I could be “fixed” at a moment in my life when I felt broken and that there was certainly something wrong with me. I remember constantly repeating to my therapist that “I felt human” during my depression and, although that felt like a bad thing at the time, I understand now why I was repeating that statement. Being human is having to or learning how to feel every single aspect of the self and, seeing the teaching even from the worst moments, and when you have spent decades running away from this act, it can feel overwhelming.

Through my healing journey it started to become very clear from the beginning that a holistic approach to my wellbeing was in need, as the therapies I had chosen were indicating that there was a lot more to consider when embarking on this journey than simply my mind – I ought to clarify at this point that I was always very proud of my mind, that is who I thought I was “A mind with a body under its command”.

The path was proving that I was not just a left brain human as I had been trained to believe since childhood, there were also other parts of me, as important as my mind, that made the totality of me as a human being and which I needed to address, acknowledge, listen to, understand, accept and love unconditionally. That is when I started to acknowledge and work with the energetics of my physical body (not just the usual functions) my emotional body and my spiritual body.

In order to bring up and connect to all these aspects of my self meant that I had to break through and release incorrect, false, antiquated and harmful beliefs, habits and identity which had been deeply ingrained in me and, although they had allowed me to survive in the world up until my breakdown, they needed to be let go of and integrated if I really wanted to heal.

There are a lot of AHA moments when you are doing the healing work, but the one that I want to highlight in this blog that clearly came up during the journey was -

"Healing is a process of remembrance - remembering and returning to wholeness"

During my life journey, I became used to pushing down and silencing parts of my self and life experiences that my brain could not make sense of, did not have the capacity to process, or where overwhelming at the time. So, I forgot how to listen and attune to all these other parts whether physical, emotional and spiritual - and these became out of alignment, disconnected from each other, making up the illusion that I was broken or damaged in some way.

Each one of the parts that form us as a whole have a voice and energetic contribution to our wholeness, and healing is about remembering that, so that the process of releasing all that is not in alignment with it and the subsequent reconnection can take part.

As soon as all these parts started to “reconnect” my life began to change as I aligned with my true state of being, I also started to remember my deep connection with the Earth, the plant kingdom, the animal kingdom, stone people, the elements, the Universe and a higher consciousness that is bigger than the one I believed in my mind. All of these also became part of my whole self.

I then learnt how to flow with what my day to day brings, rather than wanting or having the need to control everything that happens in it, which is absolutely draining. However, this is still something I must intentionally set for my day, to flow with life, as I sometimes old fear based programming kicks in.

There was A LOT to work through during my healing, and I am still work in progress. In fact, I have to say, that I agree with all those indigenous cultures that say that part of being a human is being on a constant healing journey; a journey of constant releasing, remembering, rebuilding, reconnecting and aligning with our true essence; an essence that I call and experience as unconditional universal LOVE.

Healing is not about fixing, it is about accepting and integrating all we have experienced in our lives as part of our wholeness - our True Self.

Thank you for reading this blog post and, as I always say, take what resonates or take nothing at all, this is about you and your journey. We are all unique and thus, experience life how we are meant to.

With love,

Zoly